A post has gone viral on Reddit after a woman shared that she decided to exclude her eldest sister from vacations after a “ruined” trip to Las Vegas.
Redditor u/MintyFreshGirl wrote about the family dynamic on the subreddit “Am I The A**hole” in a post titled “AITA for going on trips without one sister because she is religious and ruins things?” that has been voted on over 9,000 times.
In fact, in 2021, Pew Research Center reported on the continuing shift toward a more secular society occurring in the United States. A recent survey showed that the amount of Americans who were “religiously unaffiliated” was six percentage points higher than it was five years prior and 10 points higher than a decade before.
According to the 2021 report, “about three-in-ten U.S. adults (29%) are religious ‘nones’ —people who describe themselves as atheists, agnostics or “nothing in particular” when asked about their religious identity.”
She writes that ten years ago for her 21st birthday she decided to take a trip to Las Vegas with her older sisters and cousin. Though at first the Redditor had her own room, one of her sisters and cousin ended up moving into her room as the eldest sister, Christina, was the “worst person to room with.”
“She was a horrible addition to the trip and we ended up telling her to just do her own thing,” the Redditor wrote. “She wanted to be in bed early, she wanted to go see a musical instead of going clubbing. She wanted to eat early, then wake up early.”
She said the three women ended up staying an extra three days after dropping Christina off at the airport so they could have a “stress-free time.” To this day, they still talk about how horrible the trip was.
She said since that trip, they started to plan vacations without her.
The Redditor said that while they still did “do things” with Christina, they are things that wouldn’t make her “uncomfortable:” “No drinking, no clubs, nothing late at night. And nothing when her kids were home from school.”
She said the separation was working until their mom “let slip” that Christina had been excluded from a recent trip to a lake house.
“Christina had tried to call us asking if we could watch the girls while they visited family in the hospital a few towns over,” she wrote. “Mom took the kids but said we wouldn’t likely answer the phone anytime soon, as we were gonna be gone in the woods for a week.”
She said when they returned, Christina confronted her and asked why she and her kids were not invited.
“I said we didn’t want to, it was a time to just relax. And she has an issue with us not being married, drinking, etc… so why would she want to come?” she wrote.
She said she revealed to her sister that these sorts of trips had been going on for 10 years, since Vegas, and Christina left “very upset.”
Many commenters understood the Redditor’s decision to exclude her sister from plans, saying she is not obliged to include her in everything she does.
“OP, you and your sister and cousin just aren’t compatible with your oldest sister, and that’s fine. She is who she is and it doesn’t sound like you have a problem with that. It also sounds like she’d be miserable on your girls trips and she’d make you miserable. So just tell her that,” one commenter wrote.
Another commenter seemed empathetic to Christina’s hurt feelings though believes it’s on her due to her “lifestyle.”
“It’s gonna be tough. But your sister chose to live a certain way. You and other folks don’t live that way. Presumably you don’t tell her how to live, she should return the favor,” the commenter wrote. “It hurts to be left out of some stuff, but it is a price of the lifestyle she wants. It’s gonna take her a bit to accept that.”
In one response to a commenter the Redditor wrote that her sister wants them to “stop doing sinful things” and “act like a 90s religious sitcom for her kids.”
One commenter put in plainly that everyone should be able to enjoy a trip the way they want to: “NTA. If I’m spending money on a trip I want and deserve to enjoy it.”