Editor’s note: We understand the seriousness of the coronavirus pandemic, but we know everyone could also use a laugh in these challenging times. With that in mind, here is a lighter take from our columnist that we hope gives you a brief break from the current serious news cycle.
Almost every year, I take a vacation during the last week of March.
It usually follows the grueling two weeks of covering the BNP Paribas Open and always includes my parents, who visit the desert from Michigan around that time every spring. We might go to Vegas, watch college basketball, go to the movies, hit my favorite desert restaurants, and shuffle through valley casinos during their trip.
This year I still had the week off, and thanks to the conronavirus, the only things missing from my usual routine were the tennis tournament, my parents, Vegas, college basketball, movies, restaurants and casinos.
So I had to get creative. I still traveled a lot. I went to my living room, my backyard, the kitchen, my bedroom, and for something a little more exotic, the guest bedroom.
I did the usual stuff, jigsaw puzzle, sudoku, read a book. I can’t lie to you guys, I would never read a book, especially with my phone so close to my hand and Netflix available on the TV.
But it wasn’t all puzzles and TV, here are the other highlights of my week-long staycation quarantine. Some of this may seem familiar as we all are trying to figure out how to pass the time while staying at home. Once you finish that jigsaw puzzle it can get a little rough.
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‘You try to make it line up then!’
A natural instinct is to do some household improvements you’ve been saving for a rainy day. (Which is a good loophole I use to get out of doing stuff because it never rains here.)
But my wife, perhaps feeling that our relationship was going too well, had a fun idea. Let’s put up some wallpaper. Yikes. I think one of the rings of hell is just a non-stop wallpapering project.
Undaunted, she chose a cool pattern and had it delivered. It was the kind of pattern that required the neighboring strip of wallpaper to line up perfectly with the previous strip. Double yikes.
It took us three days to do a wall that required eight strips of wallpaper. It didn’t come together perfectly. We only fought about 82% of the time. “Hold this corner!” “No, hold it strong but give me some slack.” “Why did you let it bubble up?” “I didn’t let it bubble, you did!” “It’s not lining up!” “I know it’s not lining up, that’s because of the bubble.” “You try to make it line up then.” “It never lines up, that’s what makes it wallpaper!”
So in other words,